Missed Fists: Matous Kaluba breaks out Nate Diaz, Conor McGregor impressions in all-time stinker

Welcome to the most recent version of Missed Fists the place we shine a light-weight on fights from throughout the globe that will have been missed in these hectic occasions the place it looks as if there’s an MMA present each different day.

I pleasure myself on having the ability to keep away from sure issues on social media, like if there’s a celeb beef that I couldn’t probably care about or a kind of You received’t BELIEVE what this individual was carrying tales. That’s true with MMA as nicely, particularly in relation to one thing like a ugly harm.

Nevertheless, in a enterprise crammed with human automotive wrecks, generally you possibly can’t assist however cease and stare and — sadly, in our case — shine a light-weight on an atrocity that simply should be seen.

At an aptly named Conflict of the Stars occasion this previous weekend, we witnessed fight in its most wretched type.

(Huge thanks as all the time to @Barrelelapierna for his or her weekly lists of one of the best KOs and submissions, and to @Grabaka_Hitman for importing lots of the clips you see right here. Give them a observe and chip in on Patreon in case you can.)

Matous Kaluba vs. MaxGreen

When the good caposa — somebody who has watched 99.99999 % of each struggle ever broadcast in historical past — is looking one thing “the worst MMA struggle of all time” it needed to be unhealthy. And this one was baaaaaaaaaaaaad.

In what gave the impression to be a battle of two influencers (I take advantage of that time period loosely on condition that from what I may discover neither Matous Kaluba nor Jiri “MaxGreen” Janouch seem to have various thousand followers throughout their numerous social media platforms), we noticed 90 seconds of ridiculousness, with most of it being initiated by Kaluba, the eventual winner.

Credit score to Kaluba for placing on an unbelievable impression of an precise fighter as he not solely flicks out a couple of teeps (together with one which ends the struggle) but additionally switches stances and reveals off his personal model of the Stockton Slap (no less than in response to the commentators who positively sneaked in a “Nate Diaz” name in there). There’s the compulsory Conor McGregor reference, after all, and in addition what seems to be a short check of power?

Kaluba unleashes a depraved overhand slap-backfist-overhand slap combo earlier than hurting MaxGreen to the physique earn a stoppage, which someway appears like one of many loosest situations of “earn a stoppage” that I’ve ever needed to write.

Onerous to imagine these two didn’t placed on a traditional given what was proven at their open exercises.

As all the time although, respect to each males for moving into the cage.

Mahmoud Ahmed vs. Ammar Tareik

I admit it, it’s unfair that Mahmoud Ahmed wasn’t given our headlining spot this week as he locked up a spectacular submission at a Qadya MMA occasion in Giza.

Final week, Leonardo Casotti was our lead after he received with a calf slicer submission that I mentioned may solely be higher if he transitioned “right into a John Cena STF.” Ahmed truly did add on the facelock half and he’s nonetheless runner-up to a few social media characters. Just about a mirrored image of our present fight sports activities panorama, eh?

You may watch the complete Qadya MMA occasion at no cost on YouTube.

Max Gandra vs. Bertin Descloux

If Ammar Tareik wished to keep away from getting submitted, possibly he may have consulted Max Gandra, who saved his opponent from taking the struggle to the bottom altogether by blasting him with an upkick.

Bertin Descloux ate all of that one. Charles Oliveira ought to have simply performed this to Islam Makhachev and he’d nonetheless be UFC champion. It’s so easy.

You may see extra footage from the struggle, which befell at a Gladiators Combat Evening occasion in Brazil, courtesy of Gandra himself.

Tomas Laredo vs. Johnathan Kinsky
Rafael Calderon vs. Stefano Gennaro

Up subsequent, we’ve got a few Humpty Dumpty award candidates as Tomas Laredo and Rafael Calderon made certain that their opponents suffered nice and terrible falls.

From an Elevate Combating Championship beginner occasion in Texas Metropolis, Texas:

From Manner of Warriors FC 7 in Madrid (full fights out there on YouTube):

I’m keen on Calderon’s delayed shutdown head kick, however you possibly can’t go flawed both method.

Nicolas Bojaca vs. Anyisson Fernando Gaviria
Steven Martinez vs. Luis Enrique Pobre Bonilla
Nicolas Paez vs. Miguel Salgado

At a MatchMaker MMA occasion in Bogota, we had a trio of finishes that instantly carry the phrases “no mercy” to thoughts.

First, right here’s this fantastically arrange Superman punch-to-head kick combo by Nicolas Bojaca.

Second, Steven Martinez simply erased Luis Enrique Pobre Bonilla with a head kick in the midst of a “let’s bang, bro” change.

After which there’s Nicolas Paez, who was lighting up Miguel Salgado to the purpose that he may have completed him with no matter he wished.

He selected essentially the most brutal of choices.

Bogdan Grad vs. Tudor Dermenji
Shawn Da Silva vs. Darien Diego Hevia
Tomasz Langowski vs. Alef Carlos Silva
Luis Elias vs. Brandon Uruchurtu
Luis Escudero vs. Hugo Rubio

Log onto UFC Combat Cross and you may try fighters at Cage Combat Sequence and Final Warrior Problem Mexico bringing the ache at an absurdly excessive stage.

Austrian light-weight prospect Bogdan Grad shined within the Cage FS 12 important occasion, simply demolishing Tudor Dermenji with a spin kick.

That’s 5 straight wins for the 10-1 Grad, with seven profession victories by knockout.

Shawn Da Silva scored what was undoubtedly the scariest KO of the week as his flying knee pressured officers to usher in a stretcher to hold out opponent Darien Diego Hevia.

Luckily, Hevia appeared to substantiate by way of social media that he was alright.

“Jajajajaa, I’m not useless, thanks for the priority, I’m fantastic, no accidents, no stroke, simply a part of this recreation, I’ll be again quickly,” Hevia wrote. The person is product of sterner stuff.

Equally stern are the palms of Tomasz Langowski, who walked away with a 20-second scrubbing of Alef Carlos Silva.

In Tijuana, Luis Elias confirmed off the quickness and the slickness, Matrix dodging a head kick after which touchdown one among his personal.

I imagine “f****** candy” is the technical time period to explain a sequence like that.

Not so candy was Luis Escudero’s seemingly unlawful grounded kick end of Hugo Rubio.

I say “seemingly” as a result of because it seems, “Delight” — sure, that’s his nickname — was not disqualified and was in reality rewarded with a TKO win! It’s clear that the referee thought of this a shot to the chest or shoulder, however it’s positively questionable.

Right here’s a better look:

You be the decide.

And talking of officers, we’ve got to point out Din Thomas some love for this hilarious send-up of veteran referee Herb Dean. Hear, Dean has received a number of World MMA Awards for his work so a couple of jibes at his expense received’t harm him, particularly when you think about a number of the puzzling stoppage choices that he’s revamped the previous few years.

Keep in mind, MMA is meant to be enjoyable.

If of a latest struggle or occasion that you simply suppose might have been missed, or a promotion that might use some consideration, please tell us on Twitter — @AlexanderKLee — utilizing the hashtag #MissedFists.